Monster
by Innocent99
Summary: Life was terrible before. Then I met the Monster. After, life became bad, then good. Like a rollercoaster. All you want is to ride it so badly. The rush of adrenaline, the sensation of flying. But at first you're scared.


Innocent: A bit of a dramatic story I came up with while experimenting with writing styles. Bear with me this is the first time I've tried writing in first person and it's supposed to be challenging. So lets see how I meet it, I do love challenges! Though I do have to toss up this warning. This story will include abuse, rape, and much more then just horrid language. So be warned, it isn't rated M for nothing.

Disclaimer: I own a car..omigod who needs their own manga/anime when I have a new car?! -jumps around in exitment- EVEN if it's a hand-me down!

Chapter One: Introduction

Life was terrible before. Then I met the Monster. After, life became bad, then good. Like a rollercoaster. All you want is to ride it so badly. The rush of adrenaline, the sensation of flying. But at first you're scared.

Sweaty palms, shaking knees, and if you are anything like me, stinging tears. Fear. I'm scared of lots of things, rollercoasters is one of them. The Monster was everything I feared wrapped in one, horrible disaster. He was the dark, those scary bed-time stories that are told to children to keep them from wandering, spiders, rats, large dogs, blood, death, my father. And much more. My fears all in one not-to-simple teenage boy. The Monster.

So, who am I? I was so sure I knew who I was and what I wanted to be. Or, so I thought. I'm the strange-eyed, pale, timid girl everyone looks over.

"She's weird." Famouse words of Naruto. Of course there are tons of others. Shy. Timid. Meek. Soft. Caring. Kind. Smart. Frail. Fragile. Kinda cute. Soft-hearted. Then...

Pathetic. Worthless. Slow. Dumb. You-should-be-better. I hope you die.

I'm the first born you see. I'm supposed to be the greatest, the best. I'm supposed to be the "Perfect Hyuuga Leader" I'm supposed to be strong, brave, quick-witted. I'm not. So my father hates me.

Hiashi Hyuuga.

Strong. Bold. Quick-witted. Kind, loving, but stern. A true leader.

The public view.

My father.

Feirce. Cruel. Molester. Abusive. Sick. Twisted. Lost.

Welcome to my world.

I was five when my mother died giving birth to Hanabi. But I remeber well. Her smell. Her soft skin. Her laugh. Most of all, her hands. Always warm, always there to make childhood boo-boos go away with a gentle touch. I was her little "Hina-chan" sometimes her "Blosom" or "Sweetness". She had all sorts of names for me, I loved her. I love her. No past tense.

Then came Hanabi. Fierce, adventurous, brave, strong Hanabi. She came out too early, too small and feet first. Mom died..Hanabi nearly did.

After, the daddy I adored took a horrible, fast, downward fall. Me and Hanabi were put under a nurse's care. I was hardly taken "care" of. The old nurse doted on tiny weak Hanabi. She fussed over her and scolded everything I did, mistake or not. I hated her. I wanted Mommy.

At seven, I began to get "Nightly Visits". At first everything was fine. I was five again, adoring the daddy that had suddenly turned cold..but was warm again. Hugs and kisses, bed time stories, tucking me in to bed with whispers of "I love yous." Daddy-dearest was suddenly taking intrest in me. Asking me how my day went, smuggling in somthing special, a treat..a new stuffed bear.

Then..the touching. No fear of course, it was daddy. He loved me and was making sure I was okay. Him telling me not to tell anyone about it was perfectly okay. Daddy didn't want anyone to think he was a big old softie. It got uncomfortable..then dropped from there. The touching went to pinching, grabbing..fingers inside. Bruises. Then he put IT inside me. I cried, I tried screaming. I was hurt..in pain..bleeeding. His hand was over my mouth.I can still smell and taste the sweat on his hand, the gagging. No one came. I was forgotten. And he did as he pleased. Every night. Every damn night. I was helpless..I was terrified.

I tried hiding from him, saying I wasn't feeling well..anything to avoid the things he did to me. But he kept at it..nothing can escape the Hyuuga eyes. I began to understand exactly what it was and how wrong it was for him to be doing it to me. When I protested he'd hurt me..a slap..a threat of death. Locking me away and starving me..anything and everything that kept me frightened and quiet. I stayed reticent. I didn't tell on daddy-dearest. Every night after he had his way with me, I'd tip-toe shakily to my bathroom, take a quick shower, and clean myself up, then throw on as many clothes as possible onto my body even on awful hot nights and climb into bed, in a cocoon of covers and pillows. My protection.

Hitting thirteen was the best year of my life. I started my period. Daddy stopped touching. The monthly flow of blood all girls my age hated and dreaded was my happiness. My savior. Thank you God, for giving me ovaries. Couldn't I have started sooner? Like at eight? It's alright..atleast it came! Unfortunatly..he moved on to Hanabi. She was eight and I was helpless to help her. Luckily Hanabi wasn't me. Hanabi was strong. Hanabi ended it before he even got IT inside her. I was proud and jealouse all at once. Daddy turned to bringing women home. Still..he hurt us..mainly me any chance he got. I was to timid..to meek to tell on daddy..who I loved..yet hated. I was confused. I was hurt. A grade came home to his disliking and I'd get slapped around..kicked..I didn't do a chore right earned me a night with no dinner. I tried so hard to be what daddy waned me to be. I tried to be Hanabi. Hanabi was his baby girl. His dream daughter. She was kept away from me..seperated. Her home schooled and me..sent to public schooling. I hardly saw my own sister.

The first week I was terrified..hell..I was terrified for several months until I was put into a group of two others, Shino and Kiba with our teacher, Kurenai. Kurenai immediately became my favorite. Of course I had other classes..eight. Math, Science, Literature, Basic training, Chakra control, Jutsu, genjutsu and ninjutsu. I passed with flying colors..well atleast the written part. I was strong..but not strong enough.Thank God they didn't pass by how good you could do somthing..I hardly passed those tests..the physical ones. But I made it by. Kiba and Shino were my best friends and were always there helping. Like a loving family.

I stayed locked in my cocoon of being a good, shy girl. I hardly got angry, I never cried. I was friends with everyone but not popular. I was just the sweet girl no one could say anything bad about.

But all that changed when in my senior year, because of Kakashi-sensei. A dreadfully boring day when everything turned upside down by simply taking us out of groups of three and matching us with a training-partner who were completely opposite of our fighting styles and techniques. When his name was called, paired with mine..I could feel the fear run cold through my body.

Innocent: Well? Wadd'ya think? REVIEW PLEASE?


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